Yesterday morning I wanted to get up and go to yoga. I haven't been in weeks, and my favorite classes at Core Power are scheduled early on Sunday mornings. Earlier in the school year, I got myself into a routine of going to yoga and then straight to the grocery store on Sunday mornings. It feels so awesome to wake up with yoga and be done grocery shopping for the week by 10 am on a Sunday.
What happened was I waited too long. I told myself I had to finish planning all our meals for the week and making a grocery list before I went to yoga. That way I would be prepared for after yoga. (Sometimes I'm an overplanner.) Before I knew it, there were only 20 minutes until yoga started and I was still in my pajamas making a grocery list on my phone.
I scrambled to change into my yoga clothes, fill a water bottle, and grab the reusable grocery bags as I ran out the door, praying that God would grant me favor by giving me a parking spot right in front of the yoga studio. Because sometimes, yes, I convince myself that might be how it all works.
You may have already guessed where this is going.
I didn't make it. I couldn't find a parking spot anywhere within a 3 block radius of the place, so 5 minutes after the yoga class started I gave up and went to the grocery store. And I was MAD.
When I got home, I behaved as though I was mad at Dann. I'm not sure why. He hadn't done anything wrong. But I sort of acted like it was his fault, somehow, that I hadn't made it to yoga. We put the groceries away and then sat down to figure out what the eff was going on with me.
Turns out I was mad at myself. And I don't know about you, but I find myself to be the hardest person to forgive, most of the time. So Dann talked me through it and asked me great questions about what had happened and how I had mentally and emotionally arrived at the place where missing yoga was like the most devastating thing that could ever have happened and then he suggested I dance it off.
My husband knows me that well.
He turned on Pandora Dance Cardio Radio and danced with me until I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. It was the best kind of medicine.
There will be more Sundays and more yoga classes. Until then, there's Rihanna and Britney and Lady Gaga and Usher and Jason DeRulo. Next time you find yourself feeling mad at yourself, give yourself some grace and a little Pandora Dance Cardio Radio. It'll make you feel better, I promise.