So This Is Christmas

The following is a selection of emails excerpted from the chain of 44 messages sent between me, my four siblings, six cousins, and our nine respective spouses last Tuesday and Wednesday. We range in age from 19 to 32.

From: Chris 

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 11:02 AM

Subject: The Hobbit?

I thought it might be fun for all of us to go see The Hobbit sometime after Christmas while everyone is here. I know that at least some of you have seen it (*ahem* Dann and Jenny), but it's probably so awesome that you want to go see it again. Some of you may try to throw in an excuse like "my baby's only a day old" or something like that. I don't want excuses. I want yeses.

Also, in case you didn't know, Dance Central 3 on the Xbox will be at CCR Christmas this year. Kate has already thrown down the gauntlet. Just a heads up.

What say you?

Chris

From: Caleb

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 11:14 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

ummmm yes. I am in. I will also insist on talking like Schmiegel the whole night.

From: Kyle

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I'd be game. Carly and I saw it in 3D on Sunday night and I'd see it again. :)

Kyle

From: Calee

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I'll go, but only if I don't have to sit next to schmiegel-caleb.

From: Caleb

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 12:32 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

No deal.

From: Scott

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 1:12 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

We are in, even if it means giving birth in the theater...In such a situation I feel that I have no choice but to name my daughter Bilbo Gandalf LoMurray.

From: Daron

Date: Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 1:16 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

The risk in not sitting next to schmiegel-caleb would be the potential to have him sneak up on you.

I may know this from experience.

...and I know we don't want to get too movied out, but anyone wanna see les mis? where you might need to sit next to living-out-her-HS-musical-glory-days-Daron...?

From: Kyle

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 1:27 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I'm DEFINITELY  in for Les Mis. Can't wait. Although, can I be honest, that Anne Hathaway kind of bugs me?

From: Calee

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 1:33 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

Also DEFINITELY  in for Les Mis. And I might dibs a seat next to living-out-her-HS-musical-glory-days-Daron. We can sing in harmony. :)

From: Scott

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 1:46 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I dreamed a dream my vacation would be, so different from this hell you're describing, but Anne Hathaway has killed the dream I dream...

Actually I may or may not sit and listen to Les Mis on a fairly regular basis/drive Kelsey crazy singing at the top of my lungs when I do the dishes/cry every time I see it. If our daughter is born during this movie we will have to name her Jean Val Fantine LoMurray.

From: Kyle

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 1:59 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

Great. Name your baby after a reformed thief and a prostitute. That's a good way to start.

From: Jenny

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 1:36 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I smell a movie marathon brewing. Can all your kids survive with grandparents/babysitters for, like, seven hours straight?

From: Nicole

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 2:02 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I wouldn't be too worried about the kids surviving...pity the grandparents though.

From: Brady

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 3:26 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

On this page I write my last confession...Anne Hathaway doesn't bother me nearly as much as that other chick playing Cosette.

I'd be in for both. Especially if we do the marathon but only buy one ticket and sneak in to the other movie (that was mostly a comment for Schmiegel-Caleb).

From: Kate

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 3:35 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

I am in for both! Like Chris said earlier, I will dominate all of you at Dance Central 3...well I will try. Yay!! Our family is the coolest.

From: Caleb

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 3:53 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

These emails just made my day, but I have a couple of follow-up questions/comments:

1) Scott, what if she's born during Life of Pi?

2) Daron, do not underestimate my ability to sneak up and scare Calee even while sitting next to her.

3) Kyle, what's wrong with Anne Hathaway?

4) Brady, $10 is plenty of revenue for two movies. The theaters still win, trust me. It might be a morally grey area at best, but that hasn't stopped me before (it probably will now though).

5) Kate, I do not know what Dance Central 3 is, but I know enough about Scott LoMurray to know he is probably* the biggest threat to your dominance.

*This is only due to the recent brain surgery of Lee and assumes Neil the Wheel isn't flexible enough to complete the leg kicks of legend.

My ability to wait for this is decreasing rapidly.

From: Scott

Date: Tuesday, December 18 at 6:46 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

In response to item one: Tiger Boat LoMurray

In response to item 5: duh.

From: Kate

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 7:55 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

In response to #5: I think Scott might have a chance, did you see his dance moves with his "I suck at fantasy football" sign?! I mean, come on. But I think I have the advantage as he may have a baby at any moment so I can easily distract him by telling him Kels is going into labor. Muahahaha.

From: Scott

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 8:01 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

Kate, if you think a little thing like having a baby is going to distract me from a big thing like dominating you in some mystery dance-off game, you are seriously underestimating how messed up my priorities are.

From: Amy

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 8:07 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

We just landed in Denver...like still on the plane and I'm TOO EXCITED to even read through all of these!!

From: Kyle

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 9:26 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

I'd out-dance you all, but I'll have to sit on the sideline on the Injured Reserve list as I may still be wearing my man-girdle after getting the old Snip. Yes, you heard it right. This Walters cute-baby-making-factory is closed for good. Sorry Mark.

From: Brady

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 10:27 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

Kyle, what I need to know is, did you use the 'home kit' or did you take the easy way out and have it professionally done?

From: Calee

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 11:52 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

I'm not quite sure how I'm being counted out of this family dance-off...I guess I'll be the dark horse dominator. (Spell check just asked me to change that to dominatrix...not quite what I'm meaning, Microsoft.)

From: Caleb

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 11:55 AM

Subject: The Hobbit

Calee, until you can prove that your Wii Fit age is below 30 (or mine for that matter) I don't think we pose the same threat we did in our past decade...

From: Mark

Date: Wednesday, December 19 at 7:12 PM

Subject: The Hobbit

Kyle -

I do not accept your apology, nor do I accept your current reproductive situation.

I'll bring: an X ACTO and some narrow tubing (but not TOO narrow if you know what I mean - am I right?) to camp.

If you already have the 'home kit' on hand, please advise and I will not bring my materials. I will wear sanitary latex gloves and provide a soothing cassette mix of 90s slow jamzz (Keith Sweat, Tony! Toni! Tone!, et al) for the pain.